letting go of the ‘type a’ mentality
+ the realities of not being good at taking time off (and some reflection questions for you)
Hello friends,
I’m writing this email from a lovely apartment in Cospicua, Malta. I’m here with my boyfriend on a mini-break - we’re taking advantage of my last few weeks before I start working as a doctor and I lose all autonomy over my own time.
However, these last few weeks/months of time completely off and away from all responsibilities, I’ve realised how ‘bad’ I am at taking time off.
I’ve always known that I have a ‘Type A’ personality, with individuals often described as ‘outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management’.
Although I’m not sure about the outgoing or highly status-conscious parts, this sums up the high-achieving workaholic personality traits that probably both led me to finishing medical school and led to me being unable to relax.
With this realisation has also come the conundrum that relates to finding balance between hustle and relaxing.
On the one hand, we’re always told that you just need to work hard and that you should ‘just show up’ or ‘just start’ even if you don’t feel like it.
Then, on the other hand, there’s a huge shift towards taking breaks and ensuring you reduce the risk of burning out at all costs.
However, these two ideas seem to clash head on.
So how do we resolve this dispute? I’m not too sure, but I have a few ideas I would love to get your thoughts on (just leave a comment on this email or reply to it directly).
I think one of the first steps is to define our goals clearly, which includes setting realistic goals and clarifying the ‘bare minimum’ that needs to happen to achieve these goals. Of course, it’s easy to set way too many goals and fall short, so I typically like to focus on 3-5 goals (each in different areas of my life) at any given time.
Once we’ve set these goals, the balance between working hard and relaxing may become clearer.
For example, at university, if you want to end up in the top 10% of students of your cohort, the equilibrium will naturally need to shift towards working hard. It’s almost impossible, unless you are a genius, to achieve this without hard work.
Of course, you might question whether anyone should be striving for this goal at the cost of relaxing, but it illustrates the balance shifting nicely.
In my case, I’m currently focusing on my health and developing strong routines before I start working. I know I want to make this a priority for the coming months, but rather than signing up for an ironman triathlon or ultramarathon, I want to focus on building sustainable habits - I strongly believe in consistency and discipline. This means going for 2-3 runs per week (with one long run), going to the gym 2-3 times per week (or doing a home workout when I’m less motivated) and prepping nutritious meals ahead of time.
Sometimes, ‘just showing up’ and doing the work even when we don’t feel like it makes it easier for it to feel less like hard work.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!
Have a great week,
Allie xx
Here are some reflection questions for you:
Does your work drain or overwhelm you? Why? Is this something you can change?
How do you make time for yourself each day?
Do your goals truly reflect your desires? Or do they reflect what someone else (a parent, partner, friend, etc.) wants for you?
Latest video: iPad mini unboxing
This week I’ve been obsessed with
Video: We’re Back to Cabin Life (Eamon & Bec) - I’ve only recently (and by recently, I mean about 1 year ago) started watching Eamon and Bec’s videos and I’ve absolutely loved following their lives, especially now that baby Frankie is making appearances! Eamon and Bec’s videos bring me so much joy and happiness.
Book: The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - I recently read this book by V.E. Schwab and wow, just wow. I went into it with almost no expectations and I was absolutely blown away. It tells the story of Addie LaRue, who naively makes a deal to extend her life and obtain true freedom, but is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets. Although the book is a bit of a slow-starter and took a hundred or so pages to get into, it’s more than worth it for the moment when you get completely sucked in. Highly recommend!
Quote of the week
“Books, she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives -- or to find strength in a very long one.”
― V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue